I’ve been so busy shaving my armpits I haven’t been able to keep up with my blogging. Fortunately for me I’m done shaving my pits but now mom is on the rag and she’s totally nuts, bonkers to be more exact. Last night she chased the raccoon out of the attic, again. This time they met face to face as the raccoon poked his head out of the wire mesh be busted in through. She roared like a Wild Thing and I’m pretty damn sure that critter ain’t coming back.I couldn’t sleep the rest of the night.
This morning mom made huevos rancheros without the huevos, so basically we’re going to have rancheros, which are like farm hands but tastier. Mom is on the war path today because she’s pissed it took George W. Cheney 8+ years to not win the wars in Iraq & Afghanistan. I mean, come on, she says, Lady Gaga could probably have really kicked some ass.
Mom says right wing wingnuts are God’s gift to dipping sauce. By this she means insane people’s balls should be deep fried and served with BBQ or Sweet & Sour sauce. Even though, she says, wignuts are pretty bitter, so I’m not sure if we need to go there.
And, finally, Mom’s gonna wait for the Sarah Palin bus tour to land in Miami, so she can see the second coming for herself. Sarah, she says, reminds me of Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Except, she says, Linda was only acting.
Ta ta and toot toot. Love you always.