Posted in Almost Dorothy, Characters, Family, The Mother

Victoria Beckham Needs A Ham Sandwich


Mom says Victoria Beckham needs a ham sandwich. She says she needs to relax and let go. Enjoy life. Lick the salt off french fries and eat red meat. She’s afraid Victoria will be eaten by wolves or elves, who are way worse than wolves. I hate elves, especially the Keebler’s. Be careful not to confuse the Keebler’s with Stacy Keibler who is not an elf but is a professional wrestler/valet/model for World Championship Wrestling. Mom is depressed because she can’t kick ass like Stacy or help me with my homework. Mom’s head is about to explode because she’s not a mathematician and I need help. In the end, she says, who needs math. Elves?

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I'm not real, but I'm a writer.

3 thoughts on “Victoria Beckham Needs A Ham Sandwich

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