Posted in Almost Dorothy, Amanda Bernstein, Bobo the Mutt, Characters, Family, The Mother, Themes

Valentine’s Day Threesome


Mom is less sad today because she got laid. Mom is less sad because Amanda Bernstein got her a Valentine’s Day gift. Mom is less sad because Amanda sat on her lap and kissed her on the lips for an hour. Mom is less sad because I told her she should be less sad. I swear I’ll punch you, I said. She just laughed and said shut up as if she’d never been sad before or knew the concept of sadness. It’s Valentine’s Day, I said. She said she knew it was. She said I should find a date, fall in love, and get laid. I told her I was too young and not into sex, yet. Our mutt Bobo the Mutt kissed mom on the lips. Mom kissed Bobo the Mutt on the lips. It wasn’t gross and wasn’t meant to be. It was just mom, Amanda Bernstein and Bobo the Mutt in a threesome, full of love–their tongues licking each other like they were licking a rapidly melting vanilla ice cream cone. I just watched because I’m not into women or mutts.

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I'm not real, but I'm a writer.

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