Mom just broke up with Amanda Bernstein. Amanda Bernstein just broke up with mom. No one packs their bags. Mom throws a crockpot at Amanda Bernstein. Amanda Bernstein calls mom a crackpot. The crockpot cracked. They’re in the kitchen and there’s a chicken on the kitchen counter. Amanda Bernstein throws a cornmuffin with chocolate chips at mom. Mom picks up the cornmuffin and eats it. The kitchen is under assault but the chicken is okay for now. Mom calls Amanda Bernstein a bitch. Mom makes oo ooo oo uh uhhh oo ooo monkey sounds in response. Scratches her armpits. Puffs her chest. Amanda makes monkey sounds too. Puffs her chest and scratches her armpits. The kitchen is a zoo and the chicken is still dead on the kitchen counter. No one moves. Not even the chicken. Ooo oo uh uhh oo oo, I say. Ooo oo uh uhh oo oo, they respond and then we all laugh–except the chicken. He just doesn’t get our humor. Plus, he’s dead dead.