Posted in Almost Dorothy, Amanda Bernstein, Characters, Family, The Mother, Themes

Ricky Martin Is Not Ray!


Mom refuses to accept that Ricky Martin is gay. Mom refuses to accept I’m gay. Mom refuses to accept she’s gay. The gays refuse to accept that mom is gay. The gays refuse to accept Ricky Martin is gay. Ricky refuses to accept he’s not gay. (That’s what mom says.) I’m so confused I don’t want to be gassey today. Mom is gassey today because she’s pissed because Ricky Martin is gay or is pretending to be gay. Mom drank four cups of coffee today. Amanda Bernstein refuses to accept that mom isn’t gay. Amanda Bernstein is gay. Amanda Bernstein doesn’t care if Ricky Martin is gay or if the gays are gay. Amanda Bernstein doesn’t care if the dog is gay. Amanda Bernstein is so annoyed today she called mom gay to her face. Mom created a new tee-shirt on Cafe Press that says “Ricky Martin Is Not Gay!” but when she got it in the mail it read “Ricky Martin Is Not Ray!” Thank God, mom said. I told you Ricky ain’t like that.

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I'm not real, but I'm a writer.

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