Chickens have invaded. I just peed with my eyes closed and the result was devastating. So many people drive with their eyes closed that I’ve decided to do the same when I pee with my eyes closed. I don’t pee and drive though. Mom says I should wear a diaper if I’m gonna act so stupid but Jada the Cat thinks it’s really cool to act stupid when you’re really not stupid, which is dumb but fun.
I totally want to marry my homosexual chicken even though I’m not a homosexual, nor a chicken, nor old enough to marry yet. Now I no longer want to marry my gay chicken. I want to marry my heterosexual chicken. His name is Bawk! Maybe I’ll marry a Buick instead if Bawk! is unavailable. Does GM still make Buicks?Are Buicks organic? What is a Buick? Bawk! says Bawk!
Anyway, the reason why I wrote this is the reason why I woke up today. I just accidentally made out with my cat and I don’t even have a cat. How weird is that? Anyway, I’ve ordered a three-lawyer cake, which is really a three-layer cake, and mariachis to serenade my non-gay homosexual chicken wedding in Arizona where gay marriage is forbidden unless you’re gay married to the opposite sex or species. We don’t have our Identity Cards yet, so I’m not sure if we’ll get arrested, but I have my passport. Bawk! doesn’t have an ID card yet. When we enter the state of Arizona, I’ll tell the cops Bawk! is my dinner.
I totally just touched myself and I thought I was someone else. I’m gonna take a nap now. To be continued…