Posted in Almost Dorothy, Amanda Bernstein, Characters, Family, Squinny, The Mother, Themes

Almost Dorothy on Lesbianism


I woke up this morning, again, and I asked mom if she was or wanted to be a lesbian and, if she were or wanted to be a lesbian, I wanted to know what she planned to do about it. Mom said she’s not a lesbian but she likes women, especially women who are on the verge of lesbianism, like Hillary Clinton or Oprah, but she also likes men who are somewhat butch, like Elton John and Kid Rock. I told mom she made no sense and she said she made sense because she doesn’t care to be called LGB or T or PYT. Mom just wants to be mom and do whatever she wants where ever she wants, which sounds like a verse from a Shakira song, even if it means she’s a slut. I told mom she’s not a slut but mom said nothing and just smiled like yes I’m really a slut. I think mom is a true artist because she can survive anything.

I then told mom Squinny said s/he wants to be a boy and a girl and mom said she doesn’t have time for cross genres and I said it’s genders and mom said no she meant to say genres. I wish I spoke mom’s English or the language that comes out of her mouth. Sometimes I imagine mom is a dragon and her words are fire because they burn but not as bad as her cigarettes. I’ve never been burnt with a cigarette, at least not on purpose purpose. Once, when I was younger, I climbed on top of the kitchen stove and burnt my hand on the burner. I didn’t know it was on. Anyway, I’m certain mom is a lesbian otherwise why would she be sleeping with Amanda B. unless, of course, Amanda B. is secretly a man just like Squinny believes s/he is secretly a woman (or man) or will be one day. I’m so confused I’m going to make a list of nouns that begin with re like renown and repoman.

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I'm not real, but I'm a writer.

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