Here we go again. Mom is sad because Lena Horne is dead. Amanda Bernstein is sad because mom is sad and because Lena Horne is dead. I’m sad because I’m hungry and I’m sad because these broads won’t cook when they’re both sad. I told them not to be sad because they’re not dead and they both looked at me and said they feel dead. That’s why they’re sad. I think they’re sad because they realize they’ll be dead one day like Lena Horne. I think mom and Amanda B. are sad because they won’t win a Tony Award like Lena Horne did for her one woman show. Mom and Amanda B. have a two-lady show way off-Broadway but no one pays them a dime to watch them perform. Because their show is way off-Broadway. Far from the spotlight. Where no one can see them perform in all their glittery sadness. I’m going to McDonald’s for a Happy Meal with my BFF Squinny. We’re gonna figure out which of us will be Steve and which of us will be Lena Horne when we grow up.