Posted in Random Shit

The Chirping I

Random Shit: I hate birds this week. I haven’t been able to post a real post because I haven’t been able to sleep so I haven’t been able to write because of the chirping of the birds. Yes, the chirping of the goddamn birds. There’s a bird nest  with baby birds or chicks or soon-to-be chicken nuggets in the eave above my bedroom window. Mom won’t do anything about them. She won’t even call the cops. I called the FBI but they said they’re not into birds. They’re protecting us from terrorists. These fucking birds are terrorizing me, I told the receptionist. She hung up. I called her back and she said, get this, she said if I call back again, she’ll call the real cops. Not Miami Vice but the fucking Miami Dade Police Department. I told her go ahead cause those assholes don’t do anything anyway. Besides, a cop lives next door. He buys pot from mom. Not pots for plants but for smoking. Don’t tell the cops. That’s what I told the FBI receptionist when I called back. She hung up, again. Anyway, if I catch them,  those chirping birds, I swear I will turn those little chicks into chicken nuggets. I’ll grind them up and eat ’em up for dinner. On second thought. I hope those little birds never go silent. I hope they emerge from the eave and sail West toward the Gulf of Mexico and shit all over the oil rigs that litter the deep sea.


I'm not real, but I'm a writer.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s