My first night with my new mom, Amanda B., didn’t go so well. She’s a vegetarian, so we didn’t eat any meat. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do. We didn’t even have turkey bacon for breakfast this morning. At least I didn’t get burned by a cigarette, but I miss my real mom’s quirks. I’m not sure what I’m going to do because Amanda B.’s cat looks so delicious. I wonder if Amanda B. will notice her cat has a missing leg. The meaty one on the left side. I have to go. Obama is making a speech right now. God save the cat! Long live the cat!