Posted in Random Shit

Sally the Sea Turtle

Here’s #1 on Almost Dorothy’s list of  the “Top 10 Endangered Species of the Gulf Coast Who Can’t Read or Write”

1. Sally the Sea Turtle: Sally, born somewhere on the Gulf Coast, can’t read or write, but she can swim and lay up to 2,000 eggs a year. She’s not a slut. She’s a committed housewife and mother of thousands. Even though she can lay so many eggs, her species is endangered. Ironically, Sally was recently employed as a spokes turtle for BP Oil’s Wildlife Outreach program, commonly called BOWO. Unfortunately, Sally the Sea Turtle was burned alive in a ‘controlled burn’ during a live outreach seminar on the dangers of  burning oil in the Gulf. The News  Flash: Shrimp boats used to create a corral of the oil spill by dragging together fire-resistant booms and then lighting the enclosed ‘burn box’ on fire, burnt Sally, and her sister, Sally Sally, alive, while the two endangered turtles were interviewing other endangered turtles, dolphins, and sperm whales caught in the burn box. BP Oil reported that the pair of endangered turtles experienced no pain when set ablaze.

Sally the Sea Turtle & Friends


I'm not real, but I'm a writer.

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