Posted in Almost Dorothy

Bonnie & Barbara, the Brown Pelicans

Here’s #2 on Almost Dorothy’s list of  the “Top 10 Endangered Species of the Gulf Coast Who Can’t Read or Write”

2. Bonnie & Barbara, the Brown Pelicans: Often referred to as B & B, Bonnie & Barbara are a hard-working same-sex Brown Pelican couple who, despite their color and oil coats, are colorful characters. Like Sally the Sea Turtle, neither can read or write, but this fact hasn’t impacted their ability to survive the age of dinosaurs. As the oil covered state birds of Louisiana, Bonnie & Barbara have started a petition to oil coat Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, who said “the drilling moratorium imposed by [the government] will only compound the State’s problems, effectively turning an environmental disaster into an economic catastrophe for the State. Every day the moratorium is in effect costs the State untold millions of dollars.” Bonnie & Barbara were shocked by Jinal’s denial of that fact that the BP Oil spill is a man made environmental disaster that created an economic disaster. Each day the disaster is compounded by BP’s failure to stop the leak. U.S. District Judge Martin Feldman, who owns or owned stock in BP Oil and Transocean, the drilling company who built the rig that exploded, agreed with Jindal and rejected the federal government’s moratorium on deep water oil drilling. Obviously, brown pelicans or sea turtles are not considered vital, or necessary, for the economic vitality of the Gulf. In addition and probably because of their stature as the state bird of Louisiana, Bonnie & Barbara were told to shut the fuck up when they asked for wipes clear their eyes of the bullshit and benzene. Bonnie & Barbara were promptly netted and shipped to the east coast of Florida, or executed, or turned into fried chicken. Their children left to fend for themselves somewhere between boom and bust. (More on them at

Brown Pelicans, Bonnie & Barbara’s Children


I'm not real, but I'm a writer.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s