Posted in Random Shit

World Cup: Germany Beats Argentina 4 – 0

I wonder how many balls it takes to win a world cup soccer match. Assuming each player has two balls that’s about 22 balls. How many of those balls are protected by a jockstrap and cup? How many blades of grass sacrifice their life to cleats? How many shoelaces are broken during a game? And, most importantly, is every player required to wear a cup and jockstrap? Please, if you have the answers, let me know. Thanks.

I’m heading to the pub now with Amanda B. to watch the next game and I can’t get the idea of jockstraps out of my head. Amanda B. says their importance cannot be underestimated for the survival of the human race. Full-time protection of the crotch leads to more sex with undamaged goods and therefore may lead to more babies. I have no idea why, but I might buy one and wear it on my head next Halloween. Maybe then I’ll be a real macho boy like the ones they feature on ESPN. In the meantime, I’m going to wear my white dress and red shoes today.

Go Uruguay! Where is Uruguay? Do they speak Uru?

Marpage Jockstrap & Package
Vintage Jockstrap Ad


I'm not real, but I'm a writer.

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