Here’s #5 on Almost Dorothy’s list of the “Top 10 Endangered Species of the Gulf Coast Who Can’t Read or Write”
5. Helen the Human Hand Anemone: Just like the Brown Pelicans of the Gulf Coast, Helen the Human Hand Anemone is also an ancient mammal that inhabits land and sea in just about every square inch of the Gulf Coast region. This endangered mammal, as you can see, is kind of like two humans holding hands. What makes this creature unique is that it can run a car, an oil rig, or raise itself up in protest against tyranny and global hand ringing, but it has no brain or sense of foresight. What’s also unique about this creature it has the ability to hold on tight, vote and give people the finger. In many ways, the hand anemone is the most feared and loved creature on planet earth. Without a doubt, we will miss this thick-skinned, well-worn and manicured critter.