Ma got a goat stoned at Art Basel which, I guess, is better than her being stoned by a wild goat. Ma packed lunch before we left. Marijuana cigarettes, 6 Red Bulls, and a bag of magic mushrooms. She packed a 1/2 dozen powdered munchkins for me.
If I were Alice, ma would be Wonderland. No matter how hard ma tries, she’ll never be Alice. I told ma this and she told me I’m a fat blob green monster with fangs and a screwed-up thigh tail. I told ma that I’m just a reflection of her anti-interior. She didn’t get it. That’s what it means when she rolls her eyes into Hello Kitties.
I swear we’re just as American as
American Apple Pie.
That’s why ma told this kid she’d eat him if he didn’t run. I’ll eat you like Apple Pie she hollered at him. I think he thought she was drunk.
Ma locked him in this U-Haul truck because she thought he’d be safe from fun. I think it’s headed to Peru.
Ma repented for her actions and prayed 7 Hail Marys in front of this portrait of the Anti Virgin Mary Full of Gracelessness. I think she recited the pledge of alliegence instead. I told ma this is the Mona Lisa and ma said that woman ain’t moaning and her name ain’t Lisa.
The pandas arrived in multiples with multiple heads. Ma wasn’t sure if this was art, God, or the incarnation of Red Bull.
It wasn’t the Red Bull because the woman falling down told us to be careful not to fall down because nothing good comes from falling down unless you’re from downtown or you’re falling into a rabbit hole. I love the color blue.
Sweet Jesus, we found God at the controls of Wal Mart.