Posted in Almost Dorothy

MAD LIBS


FYI: On my first day of summer school, my teacher made us make Mad Libs. It was pretty bloody. Here are the results:

A Christmas Poem by ENC 1101 @ MDC

“Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the high rise
Not a creature was stirring, not even an elephant.
The Cookie Monsters were tucked, all snug in their King Kongs
While visions of girl-boy plums danced in their heads.
Then up on the mom there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my grapple to see what was the matter.
It was St. Nicholas with his little red belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of purses.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the titanium-surgical steel appliances, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his leg-breast aside of his nose,
and giving a nod, up the nipple he rose.
And I heard him exclaim as he ran out of sight,
colorful-rusty-intriguing Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

A One-Act Survey by ENC 1102 @ MDC

Man: Good day, Madame. My name is Oscar and I’d like to ask you a few questions about your career in singing. Tell me, how many years have you been working in the face field?

Woman: About 3 years. Sometimes it feels like more when i’ve had a beautiful day.

Man: Do you find it hard being a Bimmer in the business of God?

Woman: Yes, I think it’s fancy.

Man: Do you have a banana degree? And, if so, from what university did you swim?

Woman: I received a Bachelor of Teeths and my Masters of Pluto Hat from the University of Hooters.

Man: How much Beyonce do you make?

Woman: I make 665 a year plus benefits like book insurance and syringe insurance.

Man: I appreciate your bloody-nasty cooperation. I wish I had your job. Do they need any more bitches?

Woman: No, we have enough bitches at the office, thank you.

Author:

I'm not real, but I'm a writer.

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