Posted in Almost Dorothy, Culture Clash

Almost Dorothy Is Back


Almost Dorothy Wasn’t Born this Way | Photo by Neil de la Flor

My alter-ego is back. He (or she-he) spent the week writing brilliant stuff at BAP, Bad Ass  Poetry, I mean, the Best American Poetry blog. By brilliant stuff, I don’t mean turkey stuffing. I mean semi-well lit and deranged writings that are luminous (because they were written by candle light), goofy, sad, stupid, smart, funky, discoish, totally gay,  impersonal, way too personal, problematic, polemic, prosthetic, hectic, corny, cheesy, divine, trashy, semi-soft pornographic (not really) and, most of all, honest (more or less).

I’m glad my alter-ego is back. I’m glad he has taken over my body again. I’m glad because I think he may have learned something about himself that he didn’t know before, but knew, but didn’t want to accept. Anyway, hopefully he’ll treat me better and not make me write stupid things on this blog too often. But, I won’t hold my breath, because a breath is really hard to hold in one’s hand.

Here are the links to this weeks postal posts at BAP if you wanna read. Don’t take it all too seriously. Please. 

July 10, 2011: “Oprah, Mood, Swings, Set, Go, (Dis)order”. Excerpt: “Last night I took the “Mood Disorder Questionnaire” at http://www.oprah.com because I believe in Oprah, polar bears and the accuracy of self-diagnosis on the Internet at the witching hour while moderately depressed. In other words, I had nothing better to do.”

July 11, 2011: “Kazaky, Wonder Woman, Pedicures, Lago Mar, & Other Stuff”. Excerpt: “I need a pedicure. I need to spend more time Little Miss Sunshining my ass on a hammock on Fort Lauderdale beach. I need to live in the present tense. I need to stop caring about my presence in the present tense. Ghosts exist in every tense–past, future, present and inside the tenses that exist in between these.”

July 12, 2011: “Mama Mia, Chiquitita, Sinead O’Connor, Ladytron and Pegasus“. Excerpt: “Resistance is futile, so I bought tickets to see (the best damn) ABBA (tribute band in the world) next week at the Hardrock Casino in Hollywood, Florida. I’m super excited because “Mama Mia” may go with us. She is a “Super Trouper” and a “Dancing Queen”. We invited “Fernando”, but he has to work, which is too bad because he does the best Cubano rendition of “Chiquitita” never recorded.”

July 13, 2011: “Florence + The Machine, Piss Christ, War, Little Miss Sunshine, District 9 & Then Some”. Excerpt: “This is what I taught this semester while wearing a fedora: Florence + the Machine: I’m obsessed with Florence and her red hair. I’m obsessed with her cosmic voice. I’m obsessed with her lineage and her Celtic robes. I think she is an extraordinary terrestrial.”

July 14, 2011: “Do Not Disturb Rocks & Other Things I Saw Today”. Excerpt: “I took a coffee break. I passed by Saint Anthony’s Church. I saw this statue and took a photograph of it to remind me that I am not a statue.”

July 15, 2011: “Disco”. Excerpt: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to disco.”

July 16, 2011: “Goldfrapp, Stepmothers, Scissors, Brandon, Depeche Mode, & Why I Was Born (More or Less) This Way”. Excerpt: “I’ve walked into strange places where, say, a DJ spin spins beneath a canopy of scissors and walked out because I am afraid of heights, of danger, of people and places that take me out of my center of gravity. When danger enters my life like an uninvited ghost with scissors, I use to run. No more. Because there is beauty in danger if you give it enough time to reveal itself.”

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I'm not real, but I'm a writer.

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