Posted in Almost Dorothy, Poetry, Random Shit

The Theory of Color

emission spectrum of iron
emission spectrum of iron

Once upon a time, Yellow met Blue. Yellow was high and his face was blue, probably because of all the smoke in his chest. Blue thought, this is cool. Yellow can hold his breath for a long time while smiling and dancing with a broom. Clowns are never blue. The room was always smokey. Jumbo jets the size of parked cars flew overhead.

This one day, the day Yellow and Blue were in Blue’s red car, Blue asked Yellow what’s new. Nothing new, said Yellow, the look on his face was bearish. Blue hardly believed Yellow because Blue knew things about the world–like statistics and math. Science never lies like religion lies, he thought (or thinks). Yellow was full of God and shit.

Yellow: _____________________________.

Silence is like math. It’s invisible but reveals the universe. How things work and don’t work. How we travel from point A to point B in this or that amount of time. The calorie(s) of a black bean.

Blue: Are you sure?

Yellow: I’m sure.

Then one day in the month of Halloween, because this month is when those (or these) things happen, Blue took Yellow to the zoo in his red car. It was filled with caged pants and shirts, the zoo, not the car. Sofas and pillows.Things used like books that were never and will never be read. These animals were not like the animals in any zoo or the wild. They didn’t consume oxygen or protein. They were like stars: permanent, but not really.

Binary Stars: binary stars are locked in an eternal dance; or a dance that ends when one star crashes into another under the direct influence of gravity; sometimes gravity overwhelms and destroys the things we love the most, like strawberry ice cream and primary colors.

In the parking lot, which was really metered street parking, these two colors, Yellow & Blue, began to phase, or fizz, beneath the bearded sky. This was before the invention of moustaches. Blue looked around Yellow’s eyes and began to notice green and orange, brown and magenta, aquamarine and a billion shades of unidentifiable colors, busting out like broken, abstract lines. Blue recognized the color of radiation on Yellow’s face–a sort of unsubstantiated substance born out of bad weather.

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Yellow: Now, I have a reason to live.

Blue: You do. You did.

The car ride home was not a ride. It no longer mattered that the sky was blue because it was just what they could see when they were looking for blue–perceptual shifts are the province of aliens. The car was not blue. Yellow was not Blue. They were not blue. The car was not a car. It was a bike made out of recycled car parts.

Blue: Just breathe.

Yellow: I always do.

Blue: Ok.

Yellow staring out the window.

Color theory states that all colors posses a particular meaning that are somehow fixed and immutable like iron or the Word, but those meanings can be repossessed and renamed by psychology, or men who wear pants to the beach. Math can’t govern the universe like emotions can.

The guy on the beach was reading a book. He looked like Yellow. The tarpon hunted a school of fish, their silvery backs breaching the surface marked a kill–the exact moment of death. The guy on the beach was reading a book that looked blue. The boys in the water photographed the tarpon breaching the surface. The moon was always the moon even though it looked like a sugar cookie. The guy on the beach was reading a book that looked blue, but it wasn’t a book. It was not Blue.

The flip flops were waiting for something else to wear.

Yellow: Do you remember the moon?

Blue: I hate fire to the core.

Finally, before the beach, before the red car parked in a metered world, before the night with the dancing broom, Yellow and Blue met a man wearing blue jeans and a white coat. He stood next to a window. He said things in two languages–each word a vibration, each language a new color spectrum. It sounded like God, Blue said. It did, Yellow said.

There was a pie chart and everything was color-coded.

**Note on the Emission Spectrum: “The emission spectrum of a chemical element or chemical compound is the spectrum of frequencies of electromagnetic radiation emitted due to an atom or molecule making a transition from a high energy state to a lower energy state. The energy of the emitted photon is equal to the energy difference between the two states. There are many possible electron transitions for each atom, and each transition has a specific energy difference. This collection of different transitions, leading to different radiated wavelengths, make up an emission spectrum. Each element’s emission spectrum is unique. Therefore, spectroscopy can be used to identify the elements in matter of unknown composition. Similarly, the emission spectra of molecules can be used in chemical analysis of substances.”

Posted in Almost Dorothy, Food In The City

Almost Dorothy Interviews Almost Dorothy About Fried Chicken and Other Things

Flavor Flav's Fried Chicken.
Flavor Flav’s Fried Chicken.

Almost Dorothy: What makes you most vulnerable? List at least 5 things that make you feel vulnerable in English and one in Spanish (or any other language other than English or Inglish). If you are one of those ‘guys’ who says, ‘I’m not vulnerable’, you’re a lying sack of shit. It is true, dumb ass. Answer the fucking question.

Love. Falling in love. Falling out of love. Falling on a loved one. Falling. Cucarachas. Ma.

Almost Dorothy: Why do these things make you vulnerable? Be real, bitch.

Because it makes me hungry. Because it makes me feel like fried chicken. Because it’s like going to church with the devil. Because it’s like having crabs the size of Missouri. Because falling hurts. Because falling is hard. Because love is falling hard. Because love is hard like falling is hard like walls are hard like wood floors are hard like concrete is hard but it wasn’t hard to begin with. It all starts out soft, pliable, almost magical. Like fried chicken. It’s like ma. Like the woman who watches my back with a knife. Like the woman who cooks like a goddamn blind woman in a junk yard. It’s like losing your skin, love. Like peeling onions, but nothing like pickles.

Almost  Dorothy: Are you weak or strong when you are vulnerable?

I’m always a weakling and that’s what makes me powerful. Like a bullet without a gun or a gun without a bullet, it’s what it is that makes it powerful. Not what it does.

Almost Dorothy: If you could one thing about yourself (or your elf), what would you change and why?

I would change my underwear more often. I would change the need to change. I would change less often. I would change nothing. I would change the things I’ve changed. I would never ask for change. I hate change. I would change hate. I would wear a hat more often to hid the changes. I would change the hat I wore to the funeral that I never went to. I would have gone to the funeral with or without a hat. I would love you more or less with or without a hat. I would go hatless though a thunderstorm if I knew how to change the past. The past, I hate. I hate the past and the changes that led to wind.

Almost Dorothy: Biggest failure in life?

Not building an animal farm out of real animals.

Almost Dorothy: Are you worthy of love & belonging?

Ma says I ain’t worthy of anything but she’s on crack and fried chicken. I don’t listen to ma cause I know how I feel and I feel I am worthy of love and belonging no matter what that bat says. She’s not a baseball bat, but she hits like one. The other day I went to the mall. It was full of things I couldn’t buy because I forgot my purse or wallet or whatever it is kids are supposed to carry these days. I knew I was worthy of things–of everything–but I just couldn’t buy them, so I stole them and now they belong to me. Don’t tell ma cause she’ll call the cops and cuss me out. That’s how things go between us. That’s what makes us family. That’s what makes us stick together. Makes us belong to one another. Which makes us belong to no one because if they’re gone there’s no one left to belong to. But, then again, I guess the desire to want to belong is belonging whether or not you’re longing to belong. It’s like a sing-a-long without a singing partner. You can still sing-a-long to a song without a partner and feel like you’re part of something. Part of a song. Yes, I’m worthy of love and belonging–and new shoes.

Posted in Almost Dorothy

Shabby Little Rabbit

 

The Velveteen Rabbit
The Velveteen Rabbit

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” –The Velveteen Rabbit

Ma is in bed. Again. Again she is in bed thinking of her mistakes and outtakes and she’s kind of upset, sad, depressed, but not the kind of sad and depressed that means she needs help. At least that’s what I think when I’m not thinking about getting her help.

Last night we red the Velveteen Rabbit together. We cried a little when the bunny got tossed in the trash after he became real because the boy made him real. Love made him real and vulnerable. I looked at mom and her shabby hair (wig) was falling off and I pictured her, for a moment, as a drag queen rabbit. I pictured her (and her worn out face and her worn out hair and her worn out body) shiny and new. Born again. Unblemished.

“I’ll never be born again,” Ma said. “You only come out once.”

“That’s right,” I said.

“Thank god,” she said.

We rolled over, but not on top of each other, because we’re not into that. I reached behind ma’s head and fluffed up the pillow. She kind of looked like this rugged rabbit with cabbage ears surrounded by a beautifully gloomy white cloud. Like a bunny, she wiggled her nose. Wiggled herself into my arms and close to my heart.

 

Posted in Almost Dorothy

A Story About A Sunset

“It takes courage to be afraid.” –Montaigne, Essays, III, 6 (1588)

St. Peteresburg Beach. Photo by Neil de la Flor.
St. Peteresburg Beach. Photo by Neil de la Flor.

Nothing scares the sun anymore. Not even sinking into the black sea. Not even the black sea and its power over sunsets. Not even the scars or parked cars on Sunday or the squirrels that dream of big things from the tops of enormous trees. Not even the sky and its embedded madness stands a chance against its nuclear dance.

St. Petersburg Beach. Photo by Neil de la Flor.
St. Petersburg Beach. Photo by Neil de la Flor.

Sometimes when the blue clutters the sky, the sun rawrs and tilts its ear toward the sea.

St. Petersburg Beach. Photo by Neil de la Flor.
St. Petersburg Beach. Photo by Neil de la Flor.

Sometimes the sky is a dark paradise. Sometimes the sun hears paradise calling from the abyss in a funny voice, can you hear the light?

St. Petersburg Beach. Photo by Neil de la Flor.
St. Petersburg Beach. Photo by Neil de la Flor.

Sometimes the sun is a delicious dream–

St. Petersburg Beach. Photo by Neil de la Flor.
St. Petersburg Beach. Photo by Neil de la Flor.

intersected by billions & billions.

Posted in Almost Dorothy, Culture Clash

A Story About Biscayne Bay

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The bridge & cranes dream of dogs and cats.

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They squint and find wormholes into other worlds.

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What they discover: there’s always one light that’s brighter than the other. And they are drawn to its luminescence with purpose.

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But there’s always something else in the distance, they think. Their fiercely squinted eyes look funny to humans.

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Something centered and floating appears in the distance–a home of sorts–

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tethered to a reality made of foam.

Posted in Almost Dorothy

Robin Thicke is a zebra

Robin Thicke is a ZebraNot all zebras get a free pass so why should Robin Thicke. His “big” hit “Blurred Lines” glorifies rape and ma says that’s fucking insane. Just insane. Fuck you, Robin Thicke. Ma doesn’t care if you have a big dick. All she cares about is caring about women who get raped by dicks like you who make it look like rape is a joy ride. It’s not a joy ride. It’s not a joy ride. Take your zebra twerking ass to Lion Country Safari and report back to us about your evening, Bitch.

http://www.vevo.com/watch/robin-thicke/blurred-lines-unrated-version/USUV71300526

Posted in Almost Dorothy, Culture Clash

Almost Dorothy defends the right of all humans to fear rape regardless of gender or sexual orientation

Rape of the Sabine Women, Pietro da Cortona, 1627 - 1629.
Rape of the Sabine Women, Pietro da Cortona, 1627 – 1629.

Queerty reports that Trayvon Martin feared George Zimmerman “might be a rapist” (read full article here). This is what I think while heading back to Moscow with my bro and fugitive, Edward Snowden:

Rape is not a funny thing. Even if Zimmerman were not a potential “rapist” or a “creepy-ass cracker”, I would have probably made irrational decisions (like both Martin and Zimmerman may have the night of Martin’s death) to save my life (or to defend my life) if I was stalked by a guy (or girl) at night (or day) on my way home in my own neighborhood with only skittles and a can of ice tea to defend myself. It’s not a common experience to have a neighbor stalk me in my own neighborhood, so if someone were stalking me, I would definitely fear for my life and my brain would start calculating, even without me ‘thinking’, what my best options for escape and/or survival would be. All I know is that if I were stalked, I would freak out, but I probably would have run even though I may have the right to stand my ground, mostly because I’m a fourteen year old tranny and I don’t want my ass kicked. Ma probably would have run cause she’s forty and has flat feet and a fat ass.  If I were 17 and had muscle, maybe I would stand my ground like Martin did when he confronted his stalker.

Sidebar: Justice Department reports that 1 in 33 men have been raped. Read the full report here.

As far as calling Trayvon Martin homophobic because he may have thought Zimmerman was a ‘rapist’ is just another form of coded racism. The fact remains: people rape people. Straight men rape straight women, straight men, gay men and gay women. Gay men rape gay men, straight men, straight women and gay women. (You can continue with the other possibilities on your own but you get my point: people rape people.) We have the right, no matter what gender or sexual orientation, to fear rape or any other threat against our lives. Men get raped. It’s a fact and a dirty secret that people don’t like to talk about. And we should talk about rape just like we should talk about racism just like we should talk about gun violence just like I should talk.

(Oh, side comment: I just got solicited en route to Moscow while eating ice cream by a guy who shouted at me, “how much?” “Fuck you,” I shouted back. “Ok,” he said. Then I gave him the finger.)

Posted in Almost Dorothy

Almost Dorothy on Martin Luther King

“True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of justice.” –Martin Luther King

Edward Snowden and I are on our way to America (or back to Russia) to bring justice for all. Maybe this is an illusion but I like to think I can make a difference just like I can make spaghetti and just like Edward Snowden can steal secrets. It’s no secret that racism exists and that it is taught to us by our parents and reinforced through social interactions and the media. What is a secret is that there’s a large percentage of the population that believe race doesn’t matter when it comes to dispensing justice for all. This fact remain: there is a disparity when dispensing justice in America.

According to the Center for  American Progress:

1. While people of color make up about 30 percent of the United States’ population, they account for 60 percent of those imprisoned. The prison population grew by 700 percent from 1970 to 2005, a rate that is outpacing crime and population rates. The incarceration rates disproportionately impact men of color: 1 in every 15 African American men and 1 in every 36 Hispanic men are incarcerated in comparison to 1 in every 106 white men.

2. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, one in three black men can expect to go to prison in their lifetime. Individuals of color have a disproportionate number of encounters with law enforcement, indicating that racial profiling continues to be a problem. A report by the Department of Justice found that blacks and Hispanics were approximately three times more likely to be searched during a traffic stop than white motorists. African Americans were twice as likely to be arrested and almost four times as likely to experience the use of force during encounters with the police.

3. Students of color face harsher punishments in school than their white peers, leading to a higher number of youth of color incarcerated. Black and Hispanic students represent more than 70 percent of those involved in school-related arrests or referrals to law enforcement. Currently, African Americans make up two-fifths and Hispanics one-fifth of confined youth today.

4. According to recent data by the Department of Education, African American students are arrested far more often than their white classmates. The data showed that 96,000 students were arrested and 242,000 referred to law enforcement by schools during the 2009-10 school year. Of those students, black and Hispanic students made up more than 70 percent of arrested or referred students. Harsh school punishments, from suspensions to arrests, have led to high numbers of youth of color coming into contact with the juvenile-justice system and at an earlier age.

5. African American youth have higher rates of juvenile incarceration and are more likely to be sentenced to adult prison. According to the Sentencing Project, even though African American juvenile youth are about 16 percent of the youth population, 37 percent of their cases are moved to criminal court and 58 percent of African American youth are sent to adult prisons.

6. As the number of women incarcerated has increased by 800 percent over the last three decades, women of color have been disproportionately represented. While the number of women incarcerated is relatively low, the racial and ethnic disparities are startling. African American women are three times more likely than white women to be incarcerated, while Hispanic women are 69 percent more likely than white women to be incarcerated.

7. The war on drugs has been waged primarily in communities of color where people of color are more likely to receive higher offenses. According to the Human Rights Watch, people of color are no more likely to use or sell illegal drugs than whites, but they have higher rate of arrests. African Americans comprise 14 percent of regular drug users but are 37 percent of those arrested for drug offenses. From 1980 to 2007 about one in three of the 25.4 million adults arrested for drugs was African American.

8. Once convicted, black offenders receive longer sentences compared to white offenders. The U.S. Sentencing Commission stated that in the federal system black offenders receive sentences that are 10 percent longer than white offenders for the same crimes. The Sentencing Project reports that African Americans are 21 percent more likely to receive mandatory-minimum sentences than white defendants and are 20 percent more like to be sentenced to prison.

9. Voter laws that prohibit people with felony convictions to vote disproportionately impact men of color. An estimated 5.3 million Americans are denied the right to vote based on a past felony conviction. Felony disenfranchisement is exaggerated by racial disparities in the criminal-justice system, ultimately denying 13 percent of African American men the right to vote. Felony-disenfranchisement policies have led to 11 states denying the right to vote to more than 10 percent of their African American population.

10. Studies have shown that people of color face disparities in wage trajectory following release from prison. Evidence shows that spending time in prison affects wage trajectories with a disproportionate impact on black men and women. The results show no evidence of racial divergence in wages prior to incarceration; however, following release from prison, wages grow at a 21 percent slower rate for black former inmates compared to white ex-convicts. A number of states have bans on people with certain convictions working in domestic health-service industries such as nursing, child care, and home health care—areas in which many poor women and women of color are disproportionately concentrated.

Read this: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/23/nyregion/23trial.html?_r=0

Posted in Almost Dorothy

Almost Dorothy is pro ‘bear arms’

The right to bear arms.
The right to bear arms.

In response to the Trayvon Martin case and George Zimmerman’s overzealous quest to bear arms, I believe we should focus more on the rights of every American to bear arms. If we lived in a world in which every human has the right to hang a pair of bear arms upon their wall, we’d have a safer and more peaceful planet. It’s simple. When people spend their time shooting bears for their arms, there will be less time wasted on people shooting other people. Let’s focus on shooting bears for their arms and hang those arms on our walls. Or, let’s just manufacture synthetic bear arms so we don’t have to shot real bears and risk our lives. The best thing: we can wear these bear arms over our real human arms just like the guy above. That’s awesome, right?! So, let’s stop shooting each other because there’s no point. We can’t even hang the arms of our victims on our walls. Shoot a bear and hang his or hear bear arms on the wall or just buy your very own bear arms at your local bear arm dealer. It’s a no brainer. God Bless bear arms! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RablPaIREkk

Posted in Almost Dorothy, Culture Clash

Almost Dorothy breaks her silence on concrete & Robert Zimmerman

Dear Robert Zimmerman,

Gun
Gun

On my way from Vienna to Berlin on a motorbike with Edward Snowden on my back, I stopped at a gas station and saw your interview with Piers Morgan on CNN. Piers is hot. You’re kind of cute, too. However, when you opened your mouth, I heard bullshit and coded racism. You said so many things that made me cry. The one thing that made me shout out the most was this fancy quote: “There are people that would want to take the law into their own hands…they will always present a threat to George [Zimmerman].”

Concrete
Concrete

Robert, would you afford this same argument–to defend your brother’s honor–to Trayvon Martin? Didn’t your brother George Zimmerman take the law into his own hands? That is what you said when the interview started and that is exactly what your brother’s defense lawyers argued throughout the trial.

If I take your argument at face value and remove all the make up and lipstick from my face, I can extend your logic and argue that Trayvon Martin also had the right to defend himself just like your brother, George Zimmerman, had the right to defend himself. Martin had the equal right to defend himself with whatever means necessary at his disposal. The only difference: Martin used his body to stand his ground while your brother used a gun to storm Martin’s ground.

Robert Zimmerman, what you have not addressed is the basic question: why did George Zimmerman invade Trayvon Martin’s space? What crime did he commit? And, finally, what right did your brother have to even inquire into Martin’s right to walk home? George Zimmerman is not an officer of the law.

Trayvon Martin’s body was found on the grass 20 feet away from his supposed ‘concrete weapon’. Trayvon Martin’s body was found 20 feet away your brother, George Zimmerman’s, self-defense argument. Why didn’t George shoot Trayvon when Trayvon wielded his concrete weapon?

Trayvon Martin courtesy of MSNBC.
Trayvon Martin courtesy of MSNBC.