Posted in Almost Dorothy

Art Basel 2011: Prelude

After ma got dressed with her fancy baby blue frilly double-stitched padded bra, she still had boobs like Jagger. This impressed Calvin Klein, who we sort of hung out with, or stalked, at MOCA’s pre-Basel launch party. Not sure how we got in the front door wearing neon umbrellas but I think they thought we were performance artists. The lady at the front gate said we won the best hat prize. The funny thing is we weren’t wearing hats. We just wore our heads.

For some reason someone took the stars from the universe and then tried to sell them as art. Ma said stars are not art because they’re just actors and actresses.

MOCA Star | Photo by Neil de la Flor

Look, ma shouted, that star has legs.

MOCA Star Crowd| Photo by Neil de la Flor

No one else wore umbrellas. It was like a circus of suits and ties, dresses and skirts, trousers and long sleeve shirts. Calvin Klein wore sneakers. No one was in drag except the waitresses.

MOCA Star Light | Photo by Neil de la Flor

They also stole the goddamn moon, ma screamed. The shadow man was a man.

MOCA Silver Moon | Photo by Neil de la Flor

After an hour checking out the celestial bodies at MOCA, we left. We got hungry so we went to Taco Bell. Ma order a hamburger to no avail.