Posted in Almost Dorothy, Politics

Rick Scott Hates Homosexuals + Single Ladies

Generic image of rick scott
Rick Scott, Florida's Gollum Governor

I have nothing against Florida Gollum Governor Rick Scott. In fact, I like his bald head, and want to dress him up as Hello Kitty and take him baldroom dancing.

The other day, Florida Gollum Governor Rick Scott said this: “I believe that adoption should be by a married couple.” This is what Florida Gollum Governor Rick Scott told reporters and editors at the annual Associated Press planning session in Tallahassee, FL.

I’m not sure what the reporters asked him after that, or if they had the opportunity to ask him more questions, Scott is famous for avoiding the press, but if I were there, as a real reporter would, I would have asked him a few follow up questions. Por ejemplo:

1. Dear Florida Gollum Governor Rick Scott (Note: I wouldn’t use the word Gollum in real life), should all children born in the Hysterical State of Florida be required to have two opposite sex parents, regardless of whether or not the child was adopted or was the biological offspring of said opposite sex parents?

2. What happens if one parent changes his/her mind and wants to be gay? Should we send the child back to God or force the parent to stay heterosexual?

3. Furthermore, what should we do with all the single moms and dads like my mom and dead dad. Should these single parents be forced to give up their children or rise from the dead to take care of them again because they’re not married and don’t want to get married or are dead? Should the parents of their own biological children be forced to marry, Rick Scott?

4. Where do adopted babies come from?

5. If only married couples should be allowed to adopt, what do you propose we do when that couple gets a divorce?

6. Hey, Rick Scott, did you know that according to CBS News, Florida has the highest divorce rate in the country and that South Florida has the highest concentration of divorces in the whole state? It’s true. Read it here, Baby Scott.

7. Where do parents come from?

8. So, if only married couples are permitted to adopt, when they divorce, which is likely, should the adopted child be returned to the state and/or should the parents be forced to remain married?

9. Are you a insane?

10. No, Florida Gollum Governor Rick Scott, that wasn’t a rhetorical question.