Posted in Almost Dorothy, Amanda Bernstein, Characters, Politics, The Mother, Themes

Ryan Sorba Is A _______!

Mom thinks the grounp Young Americans for Freedom is a hate group. Mom thinks all they want is to see her dead. Her son dead. Her lover dead. All of us dead who think all humans should have the same rights. Mom will have more to say on Ryan Sorba later but right now she is in the process of putting on her lesbian shoes. The ones she wears to protest. The sames ones with the high high heels she wears to work when she strips for the Young Americans for Freedom. Mom is going to make breakfast today and wear her high high heels while she makes breakfast. Amanda Bernstein and I called the fire department just in case she burns the house down. We hope Ryan Sorba shows up so we can show him how supernatural mom really is. Like a Clydesdale. Bigger and stronger than he’ll ever be. Even though he has fancy eyebrows we can see right through him. We hope he shows up for breakfast so we can show him how good it tastes.

Posted in Almost Dorothy, Characters, Politics, The Mother, Themes

Jason Mattera Is A ________!

On February 18th, 2010 Young America’s Foundation spokesracist, Jason Mattera, tells a crowd of horny conservatives that liberals and Barack Obama snort cocaine. (See below and New York Times article written by Kate Zernike.) As a result, mom goes off. See below. Warning: this is a cock rant.

Mom’s favorite song is “Cocaine” but she says she hates cocaine and hates Jason Mattera’s claim that liberals snort cocaine. Mom wants to know if Jason Mattera has ever sucked cock because it’s like snorting cocaine. Mom wants to know if Jason Mattera wants to suck cock because our neighbor is very horny today and she’s busy and doesn’t have time to suck his cock. Plus, he smells. Mom wants to know if Jason Mattera has sucked Glenn Beck’s cock or Dick Cheney’s cock or maybe someone who actually has a cock, like Barack Obama or Rachel Maddow. Mom wants to know if Jason Mattera’s mother loves him. Mom wants to know if Jason Mattera’s mother has ever sucked cock or snorted cocaine. Mom wants to know if Jason Mattera’s father has ever sucked cock or snorted cocaine. Mom wants to know if Jason Mattera’s father loves him. Mom wants to know if he has sucked his father’s cock or snorted cocaine while sucking his father’s cock. Mom wants to know why Jason Mattera is obsessed with cocaine and cock. I tell her she shouldn’t talk about his family like that. Mom tells me she should because words matter and racist motherfuckers like Jason Mattera will cut us down if we let them. That’s the truth, she says. 

Mom says she snorted cocaine but that was when she was a registered Republican. That was when her Republican husband, my father, forced her to snort cocaine while sucking his cock. He liked that. She didn’t like that. She became a Democrat because she didn’t want to snort cocaine anymore or suck my father’s Republican cock. I tell her probably most likely Jason Mattera is obsessed with cocaine because it begins with coc just like my father was fond of cocaine and getting his cock sucked. Mom hated when father forced her to do things she didn’t want to do, like suck his cock or be a Republican. Mom says Jason Mattera sucks. Mom says Jason Mattera probably wants to snort cocaine and/or needs to get his cock sucked by a woman (or man) who knows how to suck. Cock. Mom says Jason Mattera makes a great spokesman for the Racist Republican Party. Mom says Jason Mattera makes a great spokesman for everything that is great about America. The freedom to speak gives mom the freedom to know who hates her and where he works. Mom says she lives in America because she was born here. She loves her freedom to suck or not to suck cock, to snort or not to snort cocaine, and to resopnd to those who claim she snorts cocaine or sucks cock. Mom wishes Jason Mattera luck but not too much luck. Mom says Jason Mattera just wants to be loved. Can’t blame him for that. Like me I think. Just like you she says. Mom knows what I think now and then. She also knows men will say (or do) anything to get laid. Like dad did. Like Jason Mattera did when he used cocaine.