Posted in The Potty Mouth Interviews

Kristine Snodgrass: An Interview with a Fledgling Starlet

Ladies and gentlemen, or just the ladies, listen up. My Potty Mouth Interview with Kristine Snodgrass, who is mom’s favorite potty mouth poet, examines the secret life of language in her poetry and explores the creative power of horse shit, not bull. In fact, Kristine loves the smell and mom and I love her for it.Wait, there’s more. What’s so awesome about Kristine? Well, she’s a girl, and girls are awesome, powerful feathers, teachers, and make amazing father figures. Kristine is all snap, all undone, crazy fine. She is the hand you want to hold when you cross the threshold to the gates of hell. She’s got Satan in her pocket and she’s all fierce. Plus, Kristine has an amazing daughter, who rides ponies and has a dirty potty mouth too. Well, we hope she will one day. Enjoy brothers and sisters.

Kristine Snodgrass (center), Family & Friends.

Almost Dorothy: In your new chapbook, Fledgling Starlet, you wrote the words bunny, inner ears, that, Hester, and bargain. What are you driving at?

Kristine Snodgrass: Driving? A big piece of crap mini-van that has broken driver side door handles. I crawl in the passenger side. I do. And I am supposed to call some dude named Bubba to get a new one. This confuses me. I am shit confused.

Then one day I called Bubba. I did. And he said some shit, that I couldn’t understand, so I hung up. I am still crawling in through the passenger side door. When people ask my “why are you getting in that way?”, I say, “Because it feels good”.

AD: Wow, tears are gliding down my cheeks. Are you a vestibule?

KS: I am more like a restabule. I like to rest. I am resting right now! Rest for me, rest for you, rest for everyone. Rest of my life. Resting on a cat. Rest on Bubba.

Rest in a van.

AD: In your wildest dreams, after you’ve rested, did you ever think you could give birth to such an amazing daughter?

KS: Nope. Really, they just pulled her out like a wet towel. I did nothing. She did it all, she kicked and cried, and pooed. She is my hero. I started riding again (horses) because I am so inspired by her strength and love.

I think she will grow up to be a horse trainer.

AD: Why not a horse? When will you fly?

KS: I have ordered a new broom. It is supposed to be the most fabulous vroom broom ever. Then I will fly into some John Fluvog shoes. I want pink ones.

AD: Any thoughts on the birth of Christ?

KS: Oh, was he born already? I missed the baby shower. Shit, now I have to send a gift.

Jabba the Hut (a.k.a. Jay Snodgrass

AD: Is being married to the poet, Jay Snodgrass (a.k.a. Jabba the Hut) a distraction, delight, or damn hot?

KS: Gawd. He is my primary source of stress, my primary source of comfort. He is a mentor and a teacher to me. He is at the same time so sweet and a complete ass. I am addicted to him. He’s a Scorpio. Look it up.

AD: Favorite position, non sexual?

KS: As my father in law would say, horizontal.

AD: Favorite position, sexual?

KS: Kitty

AD: As in cat? Hmmm…so, if you could be a goat, where would you visit and why?

KS: I would go to a horse farm. Just to smell the horse shit. It is lovely. A lovely horse shit smell goat girl.

AD: Very classy. Which one of your poems from your chapbook Facial Geometry, co-authored by two dorks, Neil de la Flor and Maureen Seaton, would you rather be: Planet Napkin or Elegy for a Stingray?

KS: Planet Napkin is soooooooo funny. It kills me every time I read it. I totally remember writing that at some whore’s gelato factory. [Don’t call my mom a whore, whore!?] You were cute but getting on my nerves. Elegy for a Stingray is just, JUST. It’s fabulous. It’s so fabulous. I think it’s like a lovely horse shit smell goat girl.

Neigh.

Neigh and Bubba.

The End.

Kristine Snodgrass is the editor of Cake, a new literary journal from Florida A&M University.  Her latest chapbook, Fledgling Starlet (Greybook Press 2009) explores female identity, consumerism, and pop culture. Her poetry has appeared in many journals and anthologies, including Shampoo, Coconut, 2River View, Gulfstream, The Tusculum Review, and Tigertail.  Kristine has twice been nominated for the Pushcart Prize, and her collaborative work is forthcoming in Hayden’s Ferry Review and LIT.  She is also the author of a chapbook of collaborative triads, Facial Geometry (NeO Pepper Press 2006).  Kristine is currently a Ph.D. student at Florida State University (but she just gave it up today).  She lives in Tallahassee where she is an instructor at FAMU and loves to feed horses candy hearts.