1. I resolve to love ma more and everyone more even when I’m all monsters because when the room becomes a spectacle of neon madness hugs work like magic.
2. I resolve to have sex before my 14th birthday so that I will know for certain the meaning of sex and I resolve to determine my sex.
3. I resolve to set fire to the rain and prove that Adele ain’t all that.
4. I resolve to disorder the cosmos and create quantum singularities in specific locations around the universe so that no one, not even god or his gay disciples, will lose sight of the importance of quantum pluralities.
5. I resolve to rename Buddha, Ganesha and Shiva…Ernie, Bert and Oscar.
6. I resolve to get a full time job manufacturing light and laser beams.
7. I resolve to resolve things in my solemn prayers and to keep my mouth shut and slalom.
8. I resolve to lie more or less.
9. I resolve to be one with the universe and ma’s purse.
10. I resolve to be one with humanity; one with the plants & the animals; cars & trucks; shoes & socks; tears & laughter; the trees & the rocks; ghosts & ghouls; archangels & demons; vampires & thieves; doctors & shaman; nurses & gay men; the gods & one true(ish) God who stumbles across the cosmos in high heels and leggings in our (dis)honor. I swear.
11. I resolve to (dis)honor.
12. I resolve crash & burn & dance & sing & levitate in my most ridiculous elf outfit.
13. I resolve to be one with you and one with me so that there is no one and no thing left in the universe but us—that elusive cosmetic singularity where TWO will enfold into one embrace and never ever be alone again. Amen.
14. I resolve to prophecy.